Bureau of Agency Services
Office of the Board of Commissions
Washington, D.C.
| WORK DEFINITIONS | |
| CONTRACTOR | - A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal. |
| BID OPENING | - A poker game in which the losing hand wins. |
| BID | - A wild guess carried out to two decimal places |
| LOW BIDDER | - A contractor wondering what he left out. |
| ENGINEER'S ESTIMATE | - The cost of construction in heaven |
| PROJECT MANAGER | - The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union. |
| CRITICAL PATH METHOD | - A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect control. |
| DELAYED PAYMENT | - A tourniquet applied to the pockets |
| COMPLETION DATE | - The point at which liquidated damaged begin. |
| LIQUIDATED DAMAGES | - A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible. |
| AUDITOR | - People who go in after the war is lost and bayonet the wounded. |
| LAWYER | - People who go in after the auditors and strip the bodies. |